《英语幽默小故事汇总大全》
幽默(yōu mò)它是外来词,这是一个音、意两译的词,其表达恰到好处。一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力。下面小编给大家介绍关于英语幽默小故事，方便大家学习。
英语幽默小故事1
Put Down My Shepherd Dog
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of
sheep. He tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock. " The shepherd thinks it over ; it's a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. The shepherd says, "OK, I'm a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away .
Wait, cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even . Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation ." Man says sure. "You are a quantitative economist for a government think tank ," says the shepherd. "Amazing!" responds the man, "You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?"
Well, says the shepherd, "put down my shepherd dog and I will tell you."
放下我的牧羊犬
有人在乡间小路上偶遇一位牧羊人和一大群绵羊，他对牧羊人说：“我和你打赌，如果我猜中这群羊的数目，我得你一只羊，如猜错，你得我100元。”牧羊人想了一会，认为这一大群羊可不好数，于是欣然接受。“一共973只。”此人脱口说道。牧羊人听后大为惊奇，因为数目的确不错。牧羊人说道：“我是个言而有信的人，拿走一只吧。”于是，此人抱起一只就想离开。
“等等，”牧羊人急忙喊道，“给我一个扳平的机会吧。如果我猜对你的职业的话，你就空手走人，我要是猜错的话，你就再带走一只。”此人欣然同意。“你是一位数量经济学家，在政府智囊机构工作。”牧羊人说道。“太神奇啦!”此人应声说道，“完全正确!可是请告诉我你是如何推论出来的呢?”
“好吧，”牧羊人说道，“先把我的牧羊犬放下来我再告诉你。”
英语幽默小故事2
It All Depends
The mathematician's child and the economist's child were in the third grade together, and one day the teacher asked, "If one man with one shovel can dig a ditch in ten days, how long would it take ten men with ten shovels to dig the same ditch?" Both children raised their hands.
The teacher said to the mathematician's child, "Johnny , how long?" and little Johnny said, "One day, teacher."
The teacher looked at the economist's child and said, "John Maynard, is that right?"
Little John Maynard said, "Teacher, it all depends ."
要看情况而定
经济学家的儿子和数学家的儿子是三年级同班同学。一天，老师提出这样的问题：“如果一个人用一把铁锹在10天内挖出一条水渠，那么请问10个人拿10把铁锹，需要多少天才能挖好同样的一条水渠?”两人都举起了手。
老师问数学家的儿子：“约翰尼，需要几天?”小约翰尼答道：“老师，一天。”
老师看着经济学家的儿子，问道：“约翰·梅纳德，他说得对吗?”
小约翰·梅纳德说道：“老师，那要看情况而定。”
英语幽默小故事3
Einstein's Question
When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time , he asked what were their IQs . The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein, "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity." The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein, "I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace." The third New Zealander mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?" (Adapted from The Economist, June 13th 1992, p. 71)
爱因斯坦的困惑
爱因斯坦升天后在天国之门的外面遇到了三个排队的新西兰人。为了打发时间，爱因斯坦就问他们智商有多高。第一个回答说190。“太棒了，”爱因斯坦惊呼道，“我们可以讨论欧内斯特·卢瑟福对原子物理学的贡献以及我的广义相对论了。”第二个回答说150。“不错，”爱因斯坦说，“我期待着和你讨论新西兰的无核立法对世界和平的作用。”第三个人咕哝着说是50。爱因斯坦停顿了一下，然后问道：“那么阁下预测一下明年政府的预算赤字是多少呢?”(改编自1992年6月13日的《济学人》第71页的文章)
英语幽默小故事4
Where Am I?
A man takes a hot air balloon ride
at a local country fair. A fierce wind suddenly picks up, causing the balloon to violently leave the fair and carry its occupant out into the countryside. The man has no idea where he is, so he brings the balloon down to five meters above ground and asks a passing wanderer, "Excuse me, sir, could you tell me where I am?"
Eyeing the man in the balloon the passer-by says, "You are in a red balloon, five meters above ground."
The balloon's unhappy resident replies, "You must be an economist."
How could you possibly know that? asks the passer-by.
Because your answer is technically correct but absolutely useless, and the fact is I am still lost .
Then you must be in management, replies the passer-by.
That's right! How did you know?
You have such a good view from where you are, and yet you don't know where you are and you don't know where you are going. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now your problem is somehow my fault!
我在哪?
一人在某地区的乡村博览会上乘坐热气球玩。突然一阵狂风刮来，热气球被吹到了一个远离博览会的地方，把这个人带到了乡间。他不知道自己身在何处，因此把热气球降到了距离地面五米的地方，询问一个路人：“打搅一下，先生，可否告诉我我在哪里?”
路人看了看坐在热气球里的这个人后答道：“你在地面之上五米处的一只红色热气球里。”
热气球里的人很不高兴：“你肯定是位经济学家。”
“你怎么知道?”路人问道。
“因为你给出的这个答案技术上完全正确，但是毫无用处，没有改变我迷路的事实。”
“如此说来你一定是位管理人员喽?”路人回敬了一句。
“一点不错!你怎么知道的呢?”
“你在上面的视野那么好，但是不知道自己在哪里，也不知道自己要向哪里去。事实是，你现在的位置和我们相遇之前的位置完全一样，但是你却把你的问题归咎在我身上。”
英语幽默小故事5
Economist Poem
If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far along.
If your idea's not defensible
don't make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out ,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is about.
If an economist you will be,
you must talk of GNP
and of elasticity,
of rates of substitution,
of the other propensity,
and marginal this, and marginal that.
经济学家之歌
如果你在玩花样的时候
用上一点点数学，
它将让你显得高深莫测。
如果你的想法不是无懈可击
那就让它若即若离，
不然人们会揭穿你的老底;
你的工作将会引起世人的注意，
只要你没有提及
你的葫芦里到底卖的是什么狗皮。
假如你想在将来成为一名经济学家，
你就必须谈论国民生产总值
以及弹性系数，
必须谈论替代率，
谈论其他倾向
以及各种边际。
英语幽默小故事6
What Do Two Plus Two Equal?
A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job. The interviewer
calls in the mathematician and asks, "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies, "Four." The interviewer asks, "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says, "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says, "On average , four—give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question, "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up , locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal?"
2加2等于几?
一位数学家、一位会计师和一位经济学家申请同一份工作。面试官先把数学家叫进了办公室问道：“2加2等于几?”
“等于4。”数学家答道。面试官继续问：“不多不少恰好等于4吗?”数学家感到不可思议，看着面试官答道：“没错啊，就等于4。”
接着，面试官把会计师叫了进来，问了相同的问题：“2加2等于几?”
“通常等于4，但上下有10%的浮动，不过通常等于4。”
最后，面试官把经济学家叫了进来，问了相同的问题：“2加2等于几?”只见经济学家站了起来，关上门，拉上了窗帘，然后坐到面试官旁边，低声问道：“你想让它等于几?”
英语幽默小故事7
Where Did the Chaos Come from?
An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were arguing about what was God's
real profession. The philosopher said, "Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live." "Ridiculous!" said the biologist, "Before that, God created man and woman and all living things, so clearly he was a biologist." "Wrong," said the architect, "Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos! So clearly he was an architect." "Well," said the economist, "where do you think the chaos came from?"
混乱来自何方?
经济学家、哲学家、生物学家和建筑师讨论上帝的真正职业是什么。哲学家说：“首先，上帝是位哲学家，因为他为世人定下了做人的标准。”“多可笑!”生物学家不以为然地说道，“在那之前上帝就创造出了男人、女人和世间众生，因此很显然他是位生物学家。”“错!”建筑师说道，“在那之前上帝创造出了天和地。而在他造出地球之前，世界完全被混乱和混沌所笼罩，因此他是位建筑师。”“那么，”经济学家不慌不忙地说道，“你们认为这些混乱又是谁制造的呢?”
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